I must pursue. My mind races sending a signal to my heart which begins to beat faster. I pursue, I will go, I am excited about the adventure that lies ahead of me. You have broken the chains, You have unleashed this wild heart, this heart that yearns for meaning, for adventure, that has a desire that can only be quenched by You and You alone.
I hope out of bed to say the morning goodbyes, a handshake followed by a hug. A few words of encouragement and then they are off. Not many words may have been spoken this week, but a bond most won't understand was formed. For this I am thankful.
I have to duck to enter the small chained door which leads down the narrow hallway opening to where I find you. You approach me wide eyes wearing an oversized shirt causing your shoulder to hang out. You reach out and grasp my hand, your whole hand fits into my palm. You grab a hold of my leg until I lift you into my arms, your head rests against my shoulder and in that moment I wonder what you are thinking. Everything else becomes background, but the moment you and I share.
What once stood so far away, now towers over us. The terrain is never the same and the path is not always clear, but our drive remains constant. With arms extended we are able to pass through the ravine. Foreign eyes glance us looks but are always followed with a smile and hello. What has become our adventure is their life. The thick grass that once covered the mountains base, has now turned to stone and gravel. Fighting for our footing we ascend one after the other. The walk turns into a run, we are so close. My body freezes I am there, I am free. Maker of this mountain please continue to show me the way.
It often comes without warning, sometimes from people you least expect it from, an old man on a bus, a college student in the kitchen, a friend on a hike. When a heart is opened, a person becomes vulnerable and truth can be revealed. You speak in many ways and I am just being to understand.
I sit perfectly still, eyes closed. The wind rushes down the mountain passing through my half awakened body. This in combination with the birds song, lets me know the day has begun, and as I open my eyes fully for the first time, the bright glow peering through the vast clouds reassures me of your presence.
As one part of the day ends the next begins. Covered in dirt I am handed a bucket, one after another, until the roof is covered. I am encouraged by my brothers work, next to me, all around me, It fuels me to continue, to not let my tired body give into its urge to rest.
Awakened by the mountain I rise, stiffened from the restless sleep the night before. I prepare my heart for the day, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I walk down the small corridor and enter the small room where the table lies in its center. The only air that enters comes from the small cracked window in the corner. I am handed a small yellow slip as the first patient enters. Peering into each of their eyes I begin to get a sense of their struggle, their hardship , the life that has hardened their exterior. As my translator interprets I realize these people are no different then us, in the end we are just people.
Under the large tin roof I sit, as these foreign words echo, my eyes focus on the words overhead. Their familiarity take me back to the first time, my first encounter, a time when things were different, a time when my life was different. When I mistook my desires for Gods, when all I wanted was you as a wife, to raise a family together. Now I find myself in a land where the simplest needs aren't met, where the basic amenities I have grown accustomed to can not be found. It is here, it is now that I am seeing your desires for my life.
With light brush strokes the white of the clouds are painted. Flying high above, my restless eyes gaze into the vastness of the sea. As we descend across the mist I begin to see the rugged terrain, far different from what I've grown accustomed to, shanties piled high on top of magnificant mountains. How my soul yearns to ascend those mountains. We land, I am here, The voice next to me says, "Welcome to Haiti", my journey continues.
I try and fit You in this box. I give You these parameters so that You may fit my lifestyle. You are so so much more, You succeed all my expectations You are far bigger then anything I could ever fathom, You could never fit into a box. You meet me where I am and encourage me to go further, You guide me by the hand when I am to weak, You mend my heart when it feels burdened. You give me hope that if its right for her return You will provide it. In You I trust, in You I love, in You I live.
