Christmas Past

Sitting on the back porch before all have awoke, I find peace in the coldness that ushers its way through the screen door. I find myself reflecting on where I was a year ago, who I was, and wondering if any changes have been made. As I take a sip the warmness moves down my throat and takes rest inside me. You say by standing firm you will gain life. I don't know for how long, but for now those words will permeate in my mind, hoping they will move their way into my heart, so the who I am now may be different from the who I am a year from now.

Stoplight Memories

Stopped at the light the cars pass by followed by the memories. The memories are the last of what I have of you, what I wish I could forget, but what I fear will never leave. What was once taken for granted is missed the most. What was once felt for you, you feel for someone else, and that someone else feels for yet another. The heart is confused and knows not where to turn, hurt in the past and fearful of the future, wanting to be loved and yet guarded so that it can't.

How Can You Feel Anymore

Sometimes when the moment is just right, I close my eyes and can see myself drifting away, separating from this body, The body that I've spent so much time maintaining, the body that I am never satisfied with. I can see my body like roots withering away and what is unleashed is something special, something real, something true. It's me. The me that never wanted to harm or hurt you, the me who wants nothing more to love and be loved.