Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A Sunsets Goodbye

I rush out the door, I can't miss what's going to happen next. I have to say goodbye. I race down the busy streets, weaving in and out of traffic, speeding across the bridge, I arrive. I am there. Surrounded by others we say goodbye, we thank you for today and are satisfied, for now. As I stand on this beach, else where you stand and look at the same sunset ponder the same thought. I don't know the answer to our question, but soon, I hope soon, but until then we must enjoy this goodbye in order to await our first hello.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Stop to Think

I stare across the room and pin point in on the small yellow dot, the dot expands and explodes, the color fills the room, the sunrise wakes me out of my daze. I can now see the whole room around me, the room that was once hidden by distraction, by selfish desire. Suddenly life seems so much larger. So I ask myself why? Why do I write? I write to free myself, to understand myself, to express myself, to share myself. The sun has now begun to set and the small yellow dot that once showed me the rest of the room, the rest of life, has now dropped into the sea forming small ripples which will turn into the waves that will crash over my feet, and shape the sand that surrounds me. Will I too be shaped, changed? 

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter

I travel down the long dark all to familiar road once again. As I weave in and out of each lane trying to return home before the stroke of 11, I stop to think about the day which is about to come to a close, Easter. This day often characterized by young children running around searching for the easter eggs that have been hidden. They wear pastel colored dresses and slacks put on for an over crowded church service they attended earlier in the day. This is the Easter I once knew to exist, however as I sit at my grandma's table I notice some empty seats. No longer do I see my grandpa, my father, my best friend, a piece of me. I'm so tired, I'm tired of carrying all this guilt I'm tired of thinking I'm not good enough, I'm tired of thinking of failed relationships, I'm tired of beating myself up over the past, the what ifs of life. And thats just it, I don't have to carry this baggage, I don't have to because of this day called Easter. Someone loved me before I even knew who they were, they loved me for me, the me with all my imperfections, they loved me enough to sacrifice himself, to carry all my baggage for me, for you, for all of us, the baggage that we thought was to heavy to be carried. He took it, conquered and rose, so I could have this day called Easter. For this I take a deep breath let go and trust you with my life. 

Friday, April 3, 2009

Who Is Yet To Be

Face down my body lies motionless, but my mind runs ramped. Addiction digs its claws through my side trying to pull me towards my demise. Through the urge I see You. You come in many ways, many forms but none like this before. I peer into your face I lift you close to me. I cradle you in my arms, You stare back deep into my eyes, as to say you helped create me, I am a part of you. And it is because of you, the one that has yet to be born, that I will stay clean. Lord continue to give me the strength to fight so that I may continue to live.