Moments of Simplicity

The sunset on a brisk evening painted so clearly by the thin layer of cloud that surrounds it, outlined by the rainforest that pushes up towards the sky and beyond it. It puts the mind at ease, it relaxes the heart and brings you back to a time, a moment of simplicity, a feeling of peace, like laying next to a loved one one encompassed with comfort and content. Can anyone else see it?

Because of Him

I write when thought is provoked, when feelings are so strong they must be expressed. My words have been freed from their bondage. They now must explode out onto the paper, for what they have to say is true. Behind each story, each description, each observation is the action from the one above. His power exceeds all my expectations, his love fulfills my life. He encourages when I am weak, he provides when I am empty. Life without him is not life at all. Because of him I live, I love. May my life bring glory to God!

Just Enjoy the Moment

Wrapped in comfort the cool October breeze slips through the cracked window as the soft melody plays reminding you of a time of peace. A time when life seemed easy, a time when her hand so softly ran down your back, a time of enjoyment. As the song continues to play you become the cool nights breeze and spread across the room and out into reality. You find your way into lives that matter, to become your purpose, to allow those to hear the music and experience the joy, the peace.

Deep Inside

Its there again, the pain. It starts in the center of my chest and spreads across my body. A sharp discomfort that turns into a long lingering throb. I take a deep breath hoping it lasts long enough to prolong the returning pain. It's deep, like a cancer eating away at me. No one knows where it comes from or why its here,  many hypothesis on how to treat it, but none have succeeded. As the song continues it slips away, till next time.

Unraveling the Unchanged Heart

My mind is a battlefield it searches for meaning it searches for truth, for understanding, and most of all for its passion. The answers are unclear and the writing is vague. Although the search feels helpless at times comfort is found. Your image, your beautiful face appears and my heart is filled. This love can not be described. Many times words want to be spoken but fear and pride silence them. Although struggles occur, my love for you never changes, it never has since the night I told you.

Retrospect

It ends with my return home that night. Driving down the road the leftover rain spiderwebs down the front windshield. I step out and touch the wet pavement with my bare feet as I approach my car. As I lay on the couch I watch the late afternoon showers fall from the sky and mix with the sea breeze creating the feeling of serenity. The movie on the screen opens my mind, it reveals life's search for answers where answers can not be found, but are given. The guitar chords are strummed as two friends exchange words, advice, understanding for each struggle. The mid afternoon sun beats down on my striped body as the ground rumbles with each stride taken. Only one more mile left before I am congratulated with a high-five of encouragement. There is no beginning without an end, the end is the beginning that can't be discovered until the end is reached. 

The Door Home

The door opens I look around the table and see all the smiling faces, the faces look so so familiar, yet I have never seen them before. I am finally home, this wandering spirit has finally found his way home. The door opens again this time its you. Your beautiful eyes, your beautiful smile. Your arms wrap around me, you say hi without saying a word. You are my best friend, my true companion, my beautiful sunset, the one who will be there till I can go home.

Eyes of Beauty

In a world of utter confusion you were always there. I can listen to the words of the song and feel the comfort of the soft melody, I can see your eyes looking out towards me. They awe me with beauty like if it was seen for the first time, they erase my fears and shine out a light of joy, they allow me to lead, they allow me to fail. Oh how I have caused you so much pain, how I have caused tears to fall from those beautiful eyes.  You have never left me, you are always there, your faithfulness amazes me. 

A Mid Afternoon Reflection

Leave behind this lonely town, your better then this, its not worth being so down. Go ahead set yourself free. "The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is know by God." When you finally get there, when you finally get home, it feels so good, so good to not be alone. Just remember you must tend to it, for it to really grow. As you look around outside this garden you see a land  full of broken friendships and it reminds you, You have survived.

Answer Me

Drip by drip the rain spills on the hardened cement, my eyes begin to get heavy as I peer out the window. Please don't leave me now, I am to weak to carry on. As the rain picks up the days burden presses down on my shoulders, how much more can I hold. Please keep holding on to me I plea. His response is clear, "For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedom."

The Path Less Traveled

Do you have it in you, to conquer fear, to stop believing what they tell you, or are you just going to live in it. I had to lose everything/everyone, to understand that I don't need it, only now I can tell. I believe that your not just conjured up, I know it, I feel it. You make it dry when its raining outside, you warm my blood when the temperature dies, Your my crutch when it's all to hard to bear. Without you here I could not be anywhere.

A Memory in the Wind

An eclectic mix of people crowd around the pavilion.  I see her on the outskirts, she leans against the stone building, the sun illuminates her skin as the wind brushes softly against the cotton skirt she wears. She reminds me of the past, a past relationship, a past adventure, a night when the stars never looked so clear. What was once crowded is now empty. I sit and enjoy the day as the wind shakes the leaves of the trees, I sit and listen, I observe, and now I move on.

Stop Don't Let It Pass By

Each day each moment has its meaning, stop and listen. The dust accumulates on the baseboard as they move behind the counter supplying the demand that has been established. The tiles are cracked and the walls an erie mustard yellow. I have come here to listen, yet my pen is called to write in hopes that this moment may not be lost. As ordinary as this moment appears from the outside it carries a peace that eases its way through my body, it tip toes its way into my soul to say, this is it. It is this simple.

Complications of Simplicity

The confusion has once again set in. I sit here and ponder how this has once again happened. The winds of freedom have left me, I am enslaved to my own body. The spiral has a downward decent leading to destruction and unhappiness. The impatience of not knowing is what has taken me here, life's simple plan doesn't feel so simple anymore. As much as I want it to, enlightenment can not be forced, but comes with patience and obedience to the one who knows. Let me trust in your plan, let your wings of freedom lift me up, break away these chains of bondage, allow me to live the simple life again.

Where I am Free

I close my eyes. I find myself on top of a great mountain, I walk to its furtherest edge and look outward. This is my peace, my solitude, here is where I wait to be spoken to. I can feel it, he's all around me. I reach out the peace falls down onto my outstretched arms. I open my eyes, I am back in bed now. 

Trying to Understand

My heart speaks and says, "I believe I am falling in love with you forever." My mind questions my heart and says, "Is this love permanent or a temporary feeling? and what is the difference?" As a person I am constantly changing, even when I think I am satisfied with who I am or where I am at, I am still changing. Change reveals that I am not perfect. Therefore for me to express a permanent love, seems impossible. I must learn to accept my imperfections and seek the one who has never changed, the only one who can give the purest form of love, a permanent love. 

Making a Decision

The pounding of the drums continues, its my heart beating ever so loudly. I am not going to waste this time, this light that burns will keep on fading, I am not going to jump off this ride, I'll hold on so I feel alive. I used to ask myself if you missed me where you are, I used to make plans to be with you.  I had to figure out what to do because all of this became unglued. Now that the nights are finally getting warm again, since I let you go, you reappear into my life and I let you in. Everything you are saying sounds so right tonight. The waves are crashing on and on, these forces are driving me to test the speed of light, Are we right?

An Answer

The wedding begins, I watch intently. As I sit in the back pew of the church I can't help but think of you. It was always you. I picture you as you approach me, walking down the narrow isle. Our eyes meet, a gaze that can't be broken. You wink, it causes my soul to smile. It has always been you and this I know with all my heart, his words from above whisper down and have given me the answer.

Reunited

A firm grip a quick hug, I arrive, they rise. Years have passed, but we reunite as if gone for just a week. Nothing has changed, yet everything has. I am home, if i can even call it that anymore. I've been gone for so long. The streets have changed, the house I once entered everyday now has a new door, a new occupant. I rise from the table in the corner, as I pull out my chair I survey the room. I search for the words, I begin to feel my voice tremble as I speak I try to capture this moment of time and reunite it with the past before it leaves us as life does, passing us by without warning.

The Peaceful Warrior

In the back room past the young girl humming the tune as she strokes so gently the keys on the piano, lies the peaceful warrior. He is called a peaceful warrior because the battles he fights are found on the inside. Knowing he was created for more, he searches for significance, while battling his inward addictions. He ceases to give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does.

Life Carries On

A young woman's husband is gunned down outside his home for no reason. She is left alone to work 3 jobs in order to raise her 3 young boys. She will never again be able to return to the house her husband built. An old man lies in a hospital bed after suffering a massive stroke. Not only one month prior the same stroke took his wife's life, he doesn't know if he has any strength left or if he even wants to live anymore. A young girl with her life's story painted down her arm leaves the parking garage, she slips her sunglasses on to cover the tears that leave her eyes. This is life it is all around us, why must it cause us to grieve? 

Listen Closely

I sit alone at the table and look out the window, the sun beats down on the pavement as the cars storm by not missing a beat to the song played over the coffee shop speakers... The way you laugh, the way you cry, the way that you smile without meaning to. The way you look me in the eye, I think about it all the time. The night we met the words we exchanged, you didn't know I was watching you, waiting for an excuse to approach you. Your eyes have always felt so familiar, those of an angels. I think about it all the time. It wasn't supposed to happen this way, I shouldn't be writing these words, you shouldn't be reading them over and over each day, but I just can't keep my mind off you no matter how hard I try. Your not a thought that comes and goes, your more then a dream or fantasy. Where will it lead? Love only knows. But I think about it all the time. This wasn't supposed to happen this way, Im just a man, a man that is desperately in love with you.

Sin and Her Deceptive Ways

How does it happen? Why does it bring us down? Why does she grip us so tightly, suffocating my every breath, closing the walls in around me, deceiving me into acting on what I know is not right. Sin is like a thief in the night, she breaks into your life and robs you of your freedom without warning. She's like a parasite that borrows into your flesh, you often forget that she's there, but every now and then she comes to the surface to feed, to suck the life out of you. Years ago the sin entered, she deceived me making me think that she was something special, something that I needed. She provided me with this feeling of euphoria, that was always short lived. She knew when I am weak, she knows when I am frustrated, she whispers every so softly and touches me gently, she stole from me. I can not retrieve what has been lost. I am only left with a choice, each action made will either feed or fight this sin. The decision is easy, she must be destroyed.

Just Love Her

What is Love? An intense closeness, really sharing things with someone, hard things, silly things. Knowing what is important to the other person, loving that person more then yourself, being happy simply because they are happy. Their outward smile causes you to smile inward. A sacrifice to them is not a sacrifice at all but a gift that is enjoyed by you when given. Love is to know everything about them, to share their struggles, their pain, their joy. Love is wanting to spend the last day of your life with them. It is all said in the complicated, overused, yet simple phrase, "I love you." I loved you from the first day I met you, I love you because you taught me what love is, you taught me how to love, you taught me that I don't have to be afraid of love. Not even death can put an end to Love.

Only at the Movies

I look to my right, there she is. Her deep brown eyes stare up into mine, the kind of stare that comforts, that would captivate any young mans heart. Her arm brushes against mine, I draw closer. She leans in to whisper, she speaks with a voice unmatched in its beauty and I reply. She smiles. A guy like me a girl like her it would never work out, but just for this moment if only for a second in time there is no where else I would rather be.

Travelers

They pile in with their bags and blankets. The seven have come a long way, each from a different place, each with a different past, but all sharing the same purpose. These brave young souls have come to share a message, they are here to refute those who have told you, "this is the way you are", those so called friends that say, "give in cause this is the way you are there can be no change." Their stay is brief, they must make haste, the world is waiting. People are waiting to hear the truth, Lives will be changed.

Late One Night

Down a lonely street late at night or early in the morning depending on how you look at it, lies a place half covered, half facing the moon. In this place music surrounds you. Amidst the music you can find her, a girl dancing. The dancing brings her to life, with each move, each turn, her long blonde hair illuminates the room, her soft brown eyes call out to you. She is dancing with no one, yet she is dancing with everyone. The music captures her heart and spreads it to all around her, it is her passion, her love, it is what takes the pain away.

Baptism

My head goes under, the ocean cradles my body and controls my descent to the bottom. I open my eyes. A single ray of light seeps through calling me to the surface, taking me away from all the darkness, all the confusion. As my head resurfaces the light expands the air shoots through my lungs, bringing me to life. It feels like the very first breath. As I approach the beach my heart plans my course, but the Lord determines my every step.

Danielle

She is found above watching us, the clouds are her playground. Her stay was brief, but her joy is endless, her smile will never be forgotten. Although I have never met her she is a part of me a part of my family. I await the day I return home to see her, the day she gives me a hug for the first time. Today is her day, and will always be. My sister, My little angel.

The Life Chosen

It starts by her saying, "I'm sorry," he says, "I'm scared." Is it harder to be with the one you don't love, or to be without the one you do? The words said to you that evening will never be taken back. Regret is to not give fully because of fear of what you might miss out on, to feel like it feels like to not feel at all, to turn extraordinary things into ordinary situations. Love exists to draw us towards God, turning an ordinary life into an extraordinary one. Thank you for what you have done in my life Lord.

Driving Through the Rain

Back and Forth, Back and Forth the wipers clear the rain, they wipe away the tears as I press forward to a new life, to new experiences. What lies ahead I am unsure. The clouds begin to part, light slips in. The majesty turns a light gray, the color of a healing heart. In a few minutes the sky will be clear, the show will begin, life will resume. The memories of the past have now begun to fade, a slow fade like the rain.

Meaning of the Morning

His eye peers through the clouds and warms the water, his breath moves the branches of the trees, he awakens the sleeping city. Another day has been given, none like before. A fresh start a new beginning. Like the water and trees I once was cold and stiff, dead in my transgressions and sins, but because of his great love for me, I was given a new life a new day.

Divine Interventions Do Exist

Rain drips of the pavilion, she opens her car door and walks immediately to the guy at the far table. She sits down and knows something is not the same. She looks into his eyes, the first glance to make sure he is Ok, the next look portrays a long fought struggle she thought was long over. There is silence as the cars pass by through the busy intersection. "Your making it hard", she says. "I waited two years, what's gone by two weeks?" She puts out her cigarette and walks away just as fast as she appeared. I feel a tug, its at my heart, an all to familiar feeling. I know it hurts I know it doesn't make sense, If you let me I will listen, understand, and point you to the one who can heal. He's been waiting, you have been away far to long.

How I'd Like to Hate You

I hate you for giving up when you said you never would, I hate you for saying the things you said when you didn't mean them. I hate you for stealing the words from my heart right now as I speak and not letting me see yours in return. Most of all I hate you for not listening to your heart. As I say these things and try to hate you to make it easier... I just can't.

God Speaks to My Storming Heart

It's still raining, "As the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain, I'm with you. And as your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. And I praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands you are who you are no matter where I am. And every tear I cry you hold in your hand you never left my side. And all though my heart is torn I will praise you in this storm. And although my heart is torn I will praise you in this storm."

Another Dream

Another dream, different people, a different place, but always you. You see me, you say, "you've changed", but your heart has run cold. I desperately try and chip away at this hardened heart to get to what I know exists, to feel your love you once shared with me. Why won't I give up, Why can't I give up? The alarm sounds sleep is broken but the dream lingers on.  

The Passion Within comes Alive while on the Plane

I am here, I am alive, My heart beats loudly it beats clearly. I can't sit still any longer. The weight has been lifted off my chest, its time to act. There is a war going on, that war is called complacency. Come stand with me at the forefront of this battle. Sacrifice what is easy for what is good, for what is right.

Finally It's Over

I will mourn no more, my heart has overcome what it can not understand. It beats passionately and refuses to get hardened like the hearts surrounding it. "I've learned that what God desires to do in my life will require great sacrifice and surrender, focus; and always a relentless reliance on him." The revelation has come full circle now, I have let her go, I have finally let her go.

Coffee with Grandma

Im always greeted with a hug and a kiss on the check. As I take my seat conversation begins, her small dark eyes covered with years of life speak directly into my heart. As each page is turned I begin to understand. My grandma begins to transform into a young woman full of life, full of joy, full of uncertainty. After each picture, each page I gaze upon her eyes and see its true meaning unraveled. For only a moment, a brief moment I am able to escape my families struggles, hardships, and losses and see its core, through the beautiful heart of my loving Grandma.

Letting Go Cause Your Not Enough

There's nothing you can say there's nothing you can do, There's nothing in between, you know the truth. Nothing left to face, There's nothing left to lose, Nothing takes your place... When they say that your not that strong your not that weak, its not your fault, when you climb up your hill climb up your place I try and see your will... There's nothing left to prove, There's nothing I won't do, There's nothing like the pain I feel for you. There's nothing left to hide, There's nothing left to fear, I am always here. 

The Nightmare

I can see him in the distance a shadowy image with red blazing hair that reflects no color. As I walk closer he waits for me in the car. He stares at me as he digs through his pockets, his face looking all to familiar but at the same time unrecognizable. You hurt her, you hurt her so much, he tells me with his eyes. I know, I know, as I try and exclaim my many regrets, it is to late two sets of key chains have already been dropped in my hand. What does this mean? I cry out once again someone please tell me what does this mean! As sudden as it was started it is now over and I am left alone. I awaken, my heart throbs, a feeling that is all to uncommon. I seek understanding from this message for it will soon be lost if not recorded now. Such a thing is to important to be lost, I think as I lay my head back down for another night of restless sleep.

My First Heart Ache

Tracing the past outlines the stars in the sky where you and I laid looking aimlessly into the future. Our paths have crossed yet again, its been a long 7 years since this piece of my heart has had feeling. I try and apologize you try to say your sorry, please don't cry. Our bodies come together for a second then for a second more. I say bye you say never say good bye. 

Walking Down the Road of Disclosure

O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long? Turn O Lord and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow... But you keep me safe O God, for in you I take refuge. I said to the Lord you are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me, even at night my heart instructs me. Because he is at my right hand I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure, because you will not abandon me. You have made known to me the path of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Reflection on the Past (the grieving process) A Silhouette of Songs

Rain on my heart rain, rain on my soul, rain on everything that I know. How could I be so blind that I could think that I could be in control, that I was different. The sadness has taken me into regret, how could I believe in some kind of feeling that could change everything I thought I knew. We both went down together, it felt like we might be there forever, just trying to get up. And I am sorry this wasn't easy when I asked you to believe me. But you let go. If grace knows my name then I am to blame for constantly spreading my fear and shame, I walk around blindfolded, talk, but Im not really listening. Rain on my heart, rain on my soul, rain on everything that I know.

Restless Sleep

I can't believe its not over yet. The battle I have struggled with for what seems like an eternity once more appears and bares down into me, lifting me away from sleep. I try and fight back, but my efforts only increase the pain inside. "I don't know much ,But I know about Love and how it hurts me to give up, It hurts me to give up."