A Boys Love

The young boy stands still as the world moves around him. The cities busy traffic, the nights bright lights, the harsh stares, the loving eyes, all of life continues to move forward. His past rolls through his mind like clips from a movie reel, each encounter he has had, each person he has shared life with, each person he loved, and all whom he let love him. To him people matter. As the boy stands still his surrounds change, his appearance changes, however one thing remains constant. The boys love for people, the boy refuses to give up love, because Love refuses to give him up, because Love came back for him.

Open to Answer

There has to be more, I have always known there has to be more, I have felt it. Life is more then just a routine, I refuse to be complacent. Each joy must be celebrated, but why is it I feel it is important that we embrace the pain we feel, to really understand it. Why? Why must we go through this grievance, this suffering?  Because it is said that, "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because He has poured out his love into our hearts, by the Spirit whom he has given us." And so it happened at just the right time, the perfect time, the only time, His time. Could it have been that this feeling was not just a feeling, but so much more, perhaps a Spirit one connected to those words just spoken, one that has grabbed my life and never let go, one that grabs yours, one that waits to be grabbed. 

How Do I Say Thank You

As the words scroll down the screen my voice utters out words to you, until the display projects, "your grace has overcome my brokenness" at that moment no words come, instead a tear, a single tear is shed, for you cease to amaze me. I am constantly blown away by your perfection, your love, your life. You give and give when I am to selfish to sacrifice just a little. How do I say Thank you?I smile as the piano plays in the background, I can't believe everything that has happened to me, I take a deep breath in, I breath it all in. Where would I be without you? You are the hope that I breath in, you are the everything, everything good in my life. You are, You are everything. Thank you.

A Mothers Love

As the song plays over the radio it takes me back to a time when I felt safe. When a mothers loving voice was enough to provide me the peace to know everything was going to be okay. She would whisper softly, "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine" and as she finished with, "please don't take my sunshine away", I knew from the slight tremble in the tone of her voice that if anything ever happened to me, her heart would be broken. Every heart break every pain I feel she feels, Every joy every piece of happiness she feels. A mother's love will never be forgotten, will never go unappreciated, will never disappear. As the young boy you created turns into the man you hoped he'd become, he realizes those words you said, the feelings you have are so much more, a teaching, a lesson in life, an expression of  HIS love. Thank You.

The Calling

I was lost and you found me. I was laying here in abandonment and you picked me up and carried me. You opened my eyes, opened my eyes to you, to the simpleness, to the truth. You call me to a far away land to a place I don't understand. You engage me into simple conversation, because you care, because each life matters.  Why is it the more I see you the more I love her?  Make less of me in order to make more of you and complete what you have designed. I may not understand the path set forth, but I do understand the outcome, with this I am okay. I will be okay. 

Love is Blind

Love is blind. A statement often said but rarely understood. Its been so long since I have seen clearly, even now writing these words I can't help but think of you. My mind takes me back next to you with my fingers running through your hair and down your arm till my hand grasps yours. It takes me back to the feeling of our lips meeting, the look in your eyes when you saw me, really saw me. My blindness refuses to see, it refuses to surrender. Its time for healing, time to move on, time to fix what been broken to long. Peal away the scab, the scar has set, open your eyes its time to see.

Will I

I wander into the future, I ponder on its possibilities. I reflect on the past the good times, the fun times, the heart aches, the low points. A question comes to mind, was I really known? Did these people around me really understand what drove me, where my passion lay? In a world of limitless possibility, will I rise to become what I am, will I break the cycle of norm and step onto the path less traveled, will I arise to pursue my destiny?

Forgetting in order to Remember

The boy walks through the crowded terminal looking around hoping to find you, hoping you changed your mind, hoping that the pain felt before could be resolved with just one look, one touch, one action that shows you really care, that would erase all the pain. Much like that hot day in July, your not there. Did you really ever love me? Pain, the hurt inside, the ache that makes the nights restless. Hope, the feeling of knowing this isn't it, that there is more. Why is it that we must experience pain to truly comprehend hope? I must give up these memories to remember a destiny, my destiny.

Desiring more

They take shape as they form the contour of the skin and roll down each check emerging from the eyes that were once blind, but are now opened. The road has been so long, so confusing, it has been filled with much hurt and few joys. It has given glimpses of hope none understood till now. Now it is clear the path chosen is of no coincidence, it is yours just as each strand of hair is unique to you. The end has been revealed you have found your way home because you chose to live, you chose to live to make a difference to be used to give what is not from you but apart of you. To desire more, more, more.....

Starting Over Again

I sit at the table and peer out the window as I try to wrap the words that flow out of the speaker around in my mind. Rain begins to fall in a city I once knew, a city I once grew in. But now things have changed and its time to depart on another journey, time to start over again, just me and you. You whisper me words of encouragement, "you don't know what lies ahead for tomorrow, or the next day, so cherish each day, each hour, each moment. Love as I loved, give yourself as I gave and feel my joy come alive inside you.

Moments of Simplicity

The sunset on a brisk evening painted so clearly by the thin layer of cloud that surrounds it, outlined by the rainforest that pushes up towards the sky and beyond it. It puts the mind at ease, it relaxes the heart and brings you back to a time, a moment of simplicity, a feeling of peace, like laying next to a loved one one encompassed with comfort and content. Can anyone else see it?

Because of Him

I write when thought is provoked, when feelings are so strong they must be expressed. My words have been freed from their bondage. They now must explode out onto the paper, for what they have to say is true. Behind each story, each description, each observation is the action from the one above. His power exceeds all my expectations, his love fulfills my life. He encourages when I am weak, he provides when I am empty. Life without him is not life at all. Because of him I live, I love. May my life bring glory to God!

Just Enjoy the Moment

Wrapped in comfort the cool October breeze slips through the cracked window as the soft melody plays reminding you of a time of peace. A time when life seemed easy, a time when her hand so softly ran down your back, a time of enjoyment. As the song continues to play you become the cool nights breeze and spread across the room and out into reality. You find your way into lives that matter, to become your purpose, to allow those to hear the music and experience the joy, the peace.

Deep Inside

Its there again, the pain. It starts in the center of my chest and spreads across my body. A sharp discomfort that turns into a long lingering throb. I take a deep breath hoping it lasts long enough to prolong the returning pain. It's deep, like a cancer eating away at me. No one knows where it comes from or why its here,  many hypothesis on how to treat it, but none have succeeded. As the song continues it slips away, till next time.

Unraveling the Unchanged Heart

My mind is a battlefield it searches for meaning it searches for truth, for understanding, and most of all for its passion. The answers are unclear and the writing is vague. Although the search feels helpless at times comfort is found. Your image, your beautiful face appears and my heart is filled. This love can not be described. Many times words want to be spoken but fear and pride silence them. Although struggles occur, my love for you never changes, it never has since the night I told you.

Retrospect

It ends with my return home that night. Driving down the road the leftover rain spiderwebs down the front windshield. I step out and touch the wet pavement with my bare feet as I approach my car. As I lay on the couch I watch the late afternoon showers fall from the sky and mix with the sea breeze creating the feeling of serenity. The movie on the screen opens my mind, it reveals life's search for answers where answers can not be found, but are given. The guitar chords are strummed as two friends exchange words, advice, understanding for each struggle. The mid afternoon sun beats down on my striped body as the ground rumbles with each stride taken. Only one more mile left before I am congratulated with a high-five of encouragement. There is no beginning without an end, the end is the beginning that can't be discovered until the end is reached. 

The Door Home

The door opens I look around the table and see all the smiling faces, the faces look so so familiar, yet I have never seen them before. I am finally home, this wandering spirit has finally found his way home. The door opens again this time its you. Your beautiful eyes, your beautiful smile. Your arms wrap around me, you say hi without saying a word. You are my best friend, my true companion, my beautiful sunset, the one who will be there till I can go home.

Eyes of Beauty

In a world of utter confusion you were always there. I can listen to the words of the song and feel the comfort of the soft melody, I can see your eyes looking out towards me. They awe me with beauty like if it was seen for the first time, they erase my fears and shine out a light of joy, they allow me to lead, they allow me to fail. Oh how I have caused you so much pain, how I have caused tears to fall from those beautiful eyes.  You have never left me, you are always there, your faithfulness amazes me. 

A Mid Afternoon Reflection

Leave behind this lonely town, your better then this, its not worth being so down. Go ahead set yourself free. "The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is know by God." When you finally get there, when you finally get home, it feels so good, so good to not be alone. Just remember you must tend to it, for it to really grow. As you look around outside this garden you see a land  full of broken friendships and it reminds you, You have survived.

Answer Me

Drip by drip the rain spills on the hardened cement, my eyes begin to get heavy as I peer out the window. Please don't leave me now, I am to weak to carry on. As the rain picks up the days burden presses down on my shoulders, how much more can I hold. Please keep holding on to me I plea. His response is clear, "For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedom."